


I was here

by captainhurricane



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Gen, spoilers for the dream thieves i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 00:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5890792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainhurricane/pseuds/captainhurricane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a boy who was not a raven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I was here

Oh, he knows he won’t be remembered or mourned. I don’t deserve it, he tells the dark highways. I am chaos in the body of a boy, he tells the fireworks lighting up the sky on the Fourth of July. He would rather throw a Molotov than have compassion. He would rather have his pills than any kind of friendship. He’s the leader, the alpha dog, more animal than human (yet isn’t human the worst the kind of animal? 

Oh, he knows he won’t be loved back but he can hope. His insides already stained by cigarette-smoke and pointless wishes that never gave him what he wanted. The other boys are ravens, proud and cocky and often not ready to face the world. He is not a raven. He is a dragon, a dream-dwelling daydreamer with no ways of escaping the void inside. He had begun his slow descent towards death the day he was born, the day he killed his father, the day he dreamed a new friend, the day he fell in one-sided, painful love that he never recognized as love. 

Oh, he knows he won’t be remembered but it doesn’t matter. He only belonged to the night and the glowing city lights, to his rows of soulless cars and to the war-smiled raven boy he had tried to drag down with him. 

Oh, he knows his headstone won’t say beloved son. beloved friend. beloved anything. It will clinically state his birthdate and deathdate, the only thing remaining of his legacy to the world. He’s a sidenote, a post-it stuck on the bottom of someone’s shoe, a faint, forgotten dream stuck in the minds of the raven boys. I was here, his pack of dogs remember. I was here, the useless rows of white cars say. I was here, says the street lights burning alone in the darkness. I was here, I was here, I was here.

**Author's Note:**

> deserved better tbh.


End file.
